lite bulb, ideal sharing
I simply said, "I could use help turning out lights."
"You leave more lights on than us!"
This rejection of help is the primary pathology of defensive denial.
Blaming is how people give away their ability to respond naturally.
Pure rational logic would hear a statement of needing help but personal power-less-ness uses emotion to distort the truth of the request (barely implied, in fact.)
The social symptom of "complaint" shows how we project the health of OUR attitude on others.
Since my kids believe my fact is a complaint they reveal how they distort reality.
To admit I turn off more lights will take a kind of respect yet to develop with self-acceptance.
I accept that I AM bad enough at lights to need help and admit the need without calling on credit only I am aware of actually appreciating (as care-giving.)
"You leave more lights on than us!"
This rejection of help is the primary pathology of defensive denial.
Blaming is how people give away their ability to respond naturally.
Pure rational logic would hear a statement of needing help but personal power-less-ness uses emotion to distort the truth of the request (barely implied, in fact.)
The social symptom of "complaint" shows how we project the health of OUR attitude on others.
Since my kids believe my fact is a complaint they reveal how they distort reality.
To admit I turn off more lights will take a kind of respect yet to develop with self-acceptance.
I accept that I AM bad enough at lights to need help and admit the need without calling on credit only I am aware of actually appreciating (as care-giving.)
posted by brad4d | 9:55 PM
3 Comments:
objections are buying signals.
how do you deal with the objection?
validate.
"i can understand how you feel"
identify.
"i hear what you are saying"
engage.
"what can we all do here?"
Agree.
"you are possibly correct in that i leave more lights on than you"
listen....to the chatter in response.
adapt.
and remember......all parental responses are insane.
Were you there? We do exactly what you recommend, thanks for validation.
I appreciate the process enough to share some of the "story" of dealing with insanity, if we share a laugh, we both live longer. Since so few think I take life serious enough, I can continually remind my kids that everything I say is a joke anyway! How can I enjoy conflict resolution if I don't get into any?
It ain't about the problem, it is about the solution. I remember! Lol, I do remember!
Who's the beneficiary anyway?
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