I'm a mountain but I'll get over it!

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Location: San Rafael, No. Cal., United States

Journaling conceptual design trends, mostly as "stream of consciousness" as encouragement. Environmental resolve will teach us peace. Paradox mediation provides the next healthy attitude.

Friday, September 29, 2006

tied 2 chi

The paradoxical oxymoron for today is,
the effort of waiting shows
in the relaxation of my action



Blogger Leopold von Sacher-Masoch said...

Man, thanks for Kalki about a woman that studied Pascal. Yes, Pascal was real cool. Didn't he write that it would be better to be a Christian than to be an atheist, because the Christians seem happier, and that it would be better to be a happy Christian than a miserable atheist. I think Durkheim supports that argument and possible even Eliada and Frankel's Man's Search for Meaning. I like that argument a lot, but it's O.K. for Pascal to be a happy Christian and me to choose to be a silly, silly atheist, isn't it? I guess I don't really know if you really believe in God, so I am an honest man who believes that if I can't even prove who you are and you can't really prove who I am, how can we prove that God really exists? Whether or not we can prove who we are or whether God exists, although you know who I am and I know who you are, I do believe that someone needs to teach you how to write clearly! It won't be me, because as you can see, I write very badly.

It's confusing, you know, your writing. You know, because you write badly on purpose to confuse your reader. Weird, but maybe you believe that you are Descartes' deceiver.

It's like, you know, you can talk all you want, because I sometimes, like, want you to really shut up, but, like, the force field, man, the force field isn't working. Where did your magic go? You are losing your power: it's draining, it's not working. Why isn't it working?

My eyes blur when I read you: they skip over your words like a rock thrown by a skilled hand against the surface of the water. I'm a sentence-reader, and when I read most of your sentences, I can read the wicked design, the words meant to impale their intended victim. I've got a lacuna, a space in which I can be comfortable in regardless of what you say. Your word-power depends on talking to people without this space, this critical lacuna. That's why your power will never work on me, although you are a real danger to minds that have not developed an armor and a space between the armor and the heart. You assume that there is no armor and then get angry that your power don't work.

I'm rambling, you know, a mad man, crazy, nuts, insane, sick.

There was a ceremony, a seance...a woman in white beckoned me to join a drum circle. It was New Orleans and I was young, homeless, and sober. I wandered in to this temple. An African man played the saxophone; a woman, a priestess, talked New Age nonsense. I wanted to dance. The woman in white, she urged me to dance, but I didn't say anything to her, so how did she know that I wanted to dance? I danced in the middle of a circle where I didn't know anyone, a stranger dancing among strangers. I opened my eyes, and I noticed that there was a whole group of people looking at me. I made another turn, and they were gone. I remember thinking to myself that "they must be tourists," but then they were gone, and it felt like only a second later when I opened my eyes again. I sat down, my heart was beating. Later I walked out of the circle and there was a woman standing on the street. I kissed her on the street and as I reached down to touch her leg, her thigh, her ass, I felt hair where I expected smoothness. I recoiled, because I realized somehow that the woman that I thought that I was kissing was a man. I'll never forget that night: the women in white, the black saxophone player, the tourists that were not there, and the woman who was a man.

But preach on, devil man: you have condemned the wrong man. If I had my way, you would all be fired, especially you, but I don't, so rage on, rage on, rage on.

9/29/06, 10:58 AM  
Blogger Charles Bergeman said...

When I was still in high school, I was showing my artwork at a local festival in Buffalo, where I grew up.

A large group of Hari Krishnas gathered infront of my booth. They were playing drums and cymbals, while dancing.

I spontaneously rose from my chair and began dancing with them. My friend who accompanied me in my booth was astonished.

I enjoyed the energy of the group, it was fun!

After I sat down again, one of the HKs sat down beside me and handed me a book and began preaching. It was awkward and ruined the spirit of the earlier moment I had shared with them.

That was one of the moments in my life that nudged me towards being an athiest.

It seems to me that I am a very happy atheist and those that are "believers" are always trying to bring me down. Maybe it is just me.

BTW, I see nothing evil in Brad's style of writing. It is often confusing, and requires the reader to re-read portions of his work to fully grasp it. And at times I admit, he loses me.

However, I prefer not to judge his style as "bad or good", merely different.

Brad is no 30 second sound bite, he requires more of ones attention than that.

To know him is to love him. Take the time and you will be rewarded.

To be fired, don't you have to 1st be hired?

9/30/06, 10:34 AM  
Blogger bradford said...

I know why I sound preachy, so I try to wait to be asked (esp. for my kids sake) so I share observations, (never use name-calling) but the neutral statements do encourage reaction, which I hope can share response-ability. Sourcing our feelings is history (hard-work). Art history taught me styles change fast, so I like to think in design terms - the eclectic mix is supposed to offer a little to everyone (if at all poetic.) If you don't think the world is confusing, you must have some focus, but I have to muti-task the multi-tasking while looking for the loophole - definition won't tie me down. thanks for so much feedback

9/30/06, 4:17 PM  
Blogger bradford said...

The Kalki (by Gore Vidal) that I read was a funny explaination for where the concept for Planet of the Apes came from - I picked it up at the library before flying around Texas for Jamba Juice. I said it was an intuition - not connected to anything as a comment, but I don't mind the passion it inspired - there is a strong spirit of risk to consider oneself an atheist ?

9/30/06, 5:08 PM  
Blogger bradford said...

. . in the summer after high school, for having drugs, the court ordered me to a group therapy where a guy told a story of losing his virginity, but he had never made love to a woman. My limit of experience made that quite confusing. It was 1969 & he was there to avoid the draft. .

10/2/06, 9:44 AM  
Blogger Charles Bergeman said...

The strict definition of an atheist does not deny the experiences one can have while exploring what it means to be human.

Rather, it denies the primitive explanations for those experiences which undoubtedly fall short of reality.

The Dogma which man creates to put these experiences into words are not proof of supreme beings, but rather attempts to put friendly faces on things we do not fully understand.

While much can be revealed of these experiences in Theological writings, many people are deflected from the truth by placing too much importance on the symbols.

For example, Archeoloigical finds have provided explanations for events described in the bible. And yet, the "miracles" along with the meanings later attached to these events by the people who have documented them over the years, have sent generations fo people off with misconceptions about these events.

All primitive peoples attempted to explain things they do not understand using terms and symbols that they do understand.

Later, when people have had an opportunity to learn more about them the myths are replaced with scientific understanding.

This is also true for what we refer to today as spiritual experiences.

As an atheist, I can have these experiences as well, and they are just as valid. I simply do not assign Gods, or mystical symbols to these experiences.

Rather, I look for more reasonable explanations, or I simply except them as part of the human experience, until a reasonable explanation presents itself.

We are still a primitive people. As evidence I point to all the ways in which people attempt to hang on to misconceptions of the world through theology.

Theology also places un-necessary roadblocks in the way of our understanding of the world.

Recognizing these obstructions and moving past them is our only way of advancing as a species.

10/2/06, 12:09 PM  
Blogger Penny Karma said...

I'm sorry, what does the story of kissing a man while fondling his hairy ass have to do with anything?

10/3/06, 12:08 PM  
Blogger Inspector Michael D . . . said...

bitch n (bef 12c) 1: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals 2a: a lewd or immoral woman b: a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman -- sometimes used a generalized term of abuse 3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant 4: COMPLAINT

bitch vt (1823) 1: SPOIL, BOTCH (~up their lives) 2: CHEAT, DOUBLE-CROSS 3: to complain of or about vi: COMPLAIN

bitchery: malicious, spiteful, or overbearing behavior; also, an instance of such behavior

bitch goddess (1906): SUCCESS; esp, material or worldly success

bitchin' adj [Prob short of sonofabitching, fr. son of a bitch + ing] 1: slang: remarkably bad: DETESTABLE (of all the ~ luck)

bitchy adj bitchier; -est (1937): characterized by malicious, spiteful, or arrogant behavior

10/3/06, 2:46 PM  
Blogger Inspector Michael D . . . said...

If I do a close reading of the definitions, I guess I'm a bitch too, since I've been bitching for almost a year now, although I would have rather ended up with a bitch goddess, so I didn't have to get a real job! WE NEED TO STOP BITCHING!

10/3/06, 3:34 PM  
Blogger Inspector Michael D . . . said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10/3/06, 3:56 PM  
Blogger Inspector Michael D . . . said...

... although I would have rather ended up with a bitch goddess, so I better get a real job!

Bitch, you know who I am talking to, stop with the cruel bitchery! Life is hard enough without your bull-shit!

10/3/06, 4:31 PM  
Blogger Leopold von Sacher-Masoch said...

"Dangerous tendencies lay dormant in me, and you were the first to arouse them. If I now take pleasure in torturing you, mistreating you, then it's all your fault. You turned me into what I am now, and you're actually unmanly and weak and miserable enough to blame it on me."

"Yes, it's my fault," I said. "But haven't I suffered for it? Put an end to it now! Stop this cruel game!"

"I want to end it too," she replied with a strange, devious look.

"Wanda!" I cried vehemently. "Don't make me go to extremes. You can see that I'm a man again.

"A flash in the pan," she countered. "A flame that crackles for an instant and goes out just as quickly as it blazed up. You think you can intimidate me, but you're merely ridiculous...."

"Just try to fling me away," I said scornfully. "Some toys are dangerous."

"Don't challege me," cried Wanda, her eyes sparkling, her cheeks flushed.

"If I can't have you," I went on, choking with anger, "then no one else can have you either."

"What play are you quoting?" she mocked. Then she grabbed my chest; she was utterly pale with anger. "Don't challenge me," she continued. "I'm not cruel, but I myself don't how far I can go or whether there would be any limit."

10/3/06, 4:45 PM  
Blogger Inspector Michael D . . . said...

It's a woman or a man, life, work, and love.

10/3/06, 4:46 PM  
Blogger Inspector Michael D . . . said...

Maybe I should go into television: I am a drama queen!

10/3/06, 4:49 PM  

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