I'm a mountain but I'll get over it!

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Location: San Rafael, No. Cal., United States

Journaling conceptual design trends, mostly as "stream of consciousness" as encouragement. Environmental resolve will teach us peace. Paradox mediation provides the next healthy attitude.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

exaggerated reactions

The people I am most like will tell me I'm too much.
I like being a transmitter of insight forming spontaneously, but I am taking advantage of a creative contribution principle like improvisation. My aspect of uncontrollability takes others out of their individual states (of comfort.) My intensity was pointed out at an open studio Sunday morning when Georgette said, Too much, please leave now" I love (self-actualize) that willingness to be honest. Limiting our doses (of attention, sleep, food, attitude, etc.) balances our appetites.
Just before graduating from HIGH school, I told my friend's mom, when I returned her copy of Psycho-cybernetics, "maybe cancer causes smoking?" That medicine appeared in my lifestyle at certain transition points. As soon as I "get it together" it seems easy to give up toxic behaviors (and the medicines.) The mother of my children would never have dated me it I had been smoking.
When she was diagnosed with cancer, she hadn't been doing her art (therapy) for over a year. I live in the county that has more cases than anywhere else. The percentage of self-employed entrepreneurs is high (too.) Almost everyone I get close to loves to struggle with intensity. Open-attitude can also distract us from our balance. The striving to become (rich and whatever) distract us from what we are.
A month before THE diagnosis I had started Taichi in search of my center. Maintaining a healthy attitude might be our most changeable tool. It is attitude that changes our diet, habits, thinking, feelings, etc. Openness pushes extremes. The extreme disparity of cancer demands extreme relaxation that most must induce with marinol/(marijuana), wellbutrin, zoloft, prozac, morphene, etc. Training to become centered lasts only so long because of the equal/opposite reaction is not expected and prepared for. Taichi is the most restful because it is also a powerful martial art. The slower you move, the more exercise you get, and holding still (in form correction) will make me sweat.
The more I learn active listening, the more anxious I am to share what I hear, and I seem like I can't listen. Because I know it is natural for kids to blame themselves when parents die, and they were 10 and 12 at the time their mother passed-on, I have worked hard on never blaming or shaming for anything. No matter how neutral I try to teach responsibility, kids want to think they can find an easier way, their way (is) through experience (being encouraged.) Discouragement is blamed on me and projected as defense from exaggeration.
Waiting to "pick the battle" seems to pay off and build a kind of patience that shares understanding (limits will change.)


Blogger Charles Bergeman said...




The swiftness of your reactions to your surroundings takes some time to get used to.

I think it is derived from your remarkable memory.

My recall is impaired by an internally focused riffing that is continuous and interferes with recall. Before I can pin down a memory, my mind interjects with new information or a tangent that deflects my focus elsewhere.

It is not until some later quiet moment, that the memories I was searching for, flow back into my consciousness.

So in a way we are similar, but our riffing able-ities are reflected through prisms with slightly different angles.

Meditation (self taught) has been my means of finding my center.

Toxic thoughts are purged, sensitivity to physical needs or problems are enhanced, and calm is restored.

A kind of re-alignment, that sets me back on course.

I am planing on purchasing a bike soon. In the past, this has been therapeutic for me as well.

We both have teen kids. We sit in a co-pilot/navigator seat as they pilot their way through difficult times of discovery.

We are often blamed for their shortcomings. And our own shortcomings are revealed when our best imitators are sent out into the world.

Learning to guide rather than direct from our navigator seat is our most important responsibility.

They must learn their own way.

So far, I think we can both be proud of our efforts.

5/16/07, 9:01 AM  
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